It Looked Sweet

I tend to have fruit everyday. Actually I should re-state that. I eat apples almost always, with a mix of strawberries, rainier cherries and pineapple thrown into the meal plan when they are in season. I will admit that I am somewhat of an apple snob too. I really only like Jazz apples, and will eat others only when my son so nicely brings some home from the school lunches. Jazz apples have that tart but sweet taste and are the perfect amount of yummines, until you bite into a bad one. Have you had that happen? It looks perfect on the outside but there is this bruise that is waiting right under the surface, and you have just taken a huge bite right into it….yuck! It just takes the joy out of eating the apple. Even worse when it’s a strawberry or when you start cutting a pineapple up and it’s mush, gross!

Sadly we can be like my apples. We put on our happy faces, our put together pictures on Instagram, and we go throughout our days not letting on that we are not ok. Our skin looks good, our smiles are perfect but then if we are honest we know that there is a meltdown hiding right below the surface. I am a master at the “I got this”. and the “it’ll get done, even if I have to do it myself” sayings. I can keep up the pace for quite a while and then something small happens and the surface gets broken and I end up not ok. At that point all it takes is for someone to ask if I’m ok, or say something slightly off and I am a pile of tears. The imperfection shows through the skin and the blemish is seen.

I am a frustrated crier. Let me tell you, people around me don’t know what to do with me, when I am in a frustrated crying session. It’s like a dam breaking and the water that was held back rushes forth and takes out everything in its path. All that’s left is the destruction. A good friend of mine went through a frustrated cry with me recently. I had a hard time dealing with a situation I was going through and little things kept piling up, to the point that I broke one day. My friend was innocently in my path. She wasn’t even a part of the situation I was dealing with, but she gracefully listened to me as I fell apart. In a flash I was done, I collected myself and I was able to go on with my day. My friend was luckily no worse for wear. She remained calmed, let me cry and then allowed me to just be, to calm down, to see that life still goes on and that I will be ok again.

We all have something that lies just below the surface. For some it’s an addiction, for others it’s pain or hurt, the list can go on and on. The assumption is that we are ok because the imperfection isn’t seen at first glance. Like biting into a bad part of the apple, seeing others as bruise and broken isn’t fun, but realizing that the imperfection might not be all the way through helps us to see that there can still be good parts to both the apple and people. I wish so much that my go lucky puppy Charlie could see this. I came home today (actually this happens every day I come home from work) and since I was wearing my work clothes, Charlie started barking at me. I spoke kindly to her, I reached down to pet her, heck I even let her smell me, just to let her see it was me: mom. Charlie was not having it! A few minutes later though, when I had changed out of my work clothes, she was a different dog. She ran up to me, sniffed me, let me pet her and decided then and there I was a good person. It’s amazing what happens when the outer shell comes off. In Charlie’s eyes I was a very bad apple. I was there to take her soul, until I changed. Same person different look.

Did you know that some companies actually put a sort of film on the apples to make them look shinier and more appetizing? Did you know that eating an apple a day probably won’t keep the doctor away but it can help in getting rid of the crap in your life….literally. Apples are so good for us, the have fiber in the skin to help keep us regulated, they have natural sugars, and vitamins, they are also good for our hearts. These benefits are great, but one bad apple, one bad bite and the apple is thrown away no matter the benefits. What if instead we saw the bad, but chose to eat around it, to cut it out? We could do that with people too. I don’t know about you but I am far from perfect. I would hate knowing that someone decided not to get to know me or be around me because they saw my blemishes, my “bruises”, and yet I know I have done that to some people. See, not perfect. I will leave you with this saying I saw on Instagram. I wish I knew who said it but unfortunately it didn’t say. Until next time:

Butterflies cannot see their wings, but the rest of the world can. You. You are beautiful and while you may not see it, we can.

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