What are you hearing?

When I was younger I took swimming lessons like most of the kids in my neighborhood. Most of the time it meant walking to the community pool for the lessons and then we would get to swim afterwards in an open swim session. One of the last things we had to do to in our swim class was pass a test that would prove we knew how to do the basics in the water and not drown. For the most part the test was easy, but one of the last things we had to do was dive down to the bottom of the deep end and grab a ring tp bring it up to the surface. We had to show we knew how to dive off the side and thus show that we could hold our breath underwater for a certain time. For most of the kids it was easy, so I didn’t think I would have a problem doing it, except for when I did. After I dove in I was kicking my way to the bottom of the pool when I heard a pop in my ear. I kept going because I really wanted to pass this test (it meant I could get out of the shallow side of the pool where the little kids were, and go to the side where my friends were), which I did, but what I didn’t realize right away was that I did something to my ear.

I had to deal with the consequence of that action for sure but don’t we all? It meant that my hearing in that ear was decreased which meant I would have to work harder at hearing when people talked to me. One of the hardest things to do sometimes is to stop and actually listen to what someone is saying. It means focusing on them, and stopping what you are doing so that your mind can fully concentrate on what is being said. Sometimes that means leaning in, if what is surrounding you is loud, sometimes it means finding a quiet spot to fully grasp the conversation. My husband always knew when I was asleep with my “bad ear” up because, it would take him or one of our kids shaking me just to get me to stir. When on walks with my hubby, I walk with my good ear closest to him so that I can hear all he is saying. But what does it really mean to listen?

You know when people hear you, they acknowledge you in some way but are they truly listening to what you are saying. Picture a conversation between friends. If the person that is listening to the story is just waiting for her friend to take a breath so she can say what she wants to, is she really listening to her friend? There have been times when I will be talking with my husband about his job, or something he is working on with his motorcycle and I admit I get lost in my own thoughts because I have no idea was he is talking about. I am sure the same happens when I talk with him about my job. I am hearing what is said but I am not listening to understand.

My middle child is great at stopping a conversation is she feels she is getting interrupted too many times or if she thinks we are not understanding that she really wants us to focus on what she is saying. She doesn’t like to be talked over and will step away if that happens. Whether she admits it or not she has a pretty good grasp on making sure the conversations get done the way they should be. I really do love this about her because she knows what she has to say is important to her and so she will make sure the person she is talking to understands that as well. I absolutely love some of the talks we have had.

All too often if we don’t feel like we are being heard it’s a blow to who we are. When someone takes the time to listen and understand there is value placed on the person talking. When I talk with people I would love to say I give them value all of the time, but unfortunately that doesn’t happen. Hearing loss is one thing, even when it’s partial, but to loose out in really listening we miss out on who people are. Until next time:

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, and honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Leo Buscaglia