Am I In Control?

This past week I was taught a lot about not being in control.  This doesn’t usually sit well with me but then it usually doesn’t when one thinks that control is a natural occurrence. 

As my daughter and I were driving to an appointment she had we were discussing the fact that there were certain criteria that she had to meet before this appointment could happen.  This meant that she had to take her earrings out, take off her fake nails and she had to not eat or drink at least 6 hours before this appointment.  Of course, this means that she was going into a surgery of some sort, if this wasn’t guessed.  My daughter is just like me though, she does not like having control over the situations she is in.  She knows this procedure must happen, she also knows that she must follow their protocols because it keeps her safe and prevents things (aspiration) from happening.  What she doesn’t like is the time in which she is under anesthesia, she doesn’t know what is going on. 

Now granted she has seen surgeries happen before because she has helped me in my work, she knows what happens before, during and after, but this is happening to her, so it is different.  As I sit here, I am understanding this same fear of no control.  I am her momma sitting in a waiting room waiting for her procedure to be done.  I tend to go to the “bad what if” scenarios always thinking the worst.  Maybe it’s the line of work I am in or the fact that my brain is somewhat negative in thoughts and needs the retraining of positive thoughts.  In any case, I sit here, and I wait.  My best course of action would be to stay positive and know all is well, and I am working on staying in that mindset.  What would be better?  Knowing and fully grasping that God is in control and that in itself is all I need to know.

Our trip over here was right before Easter.  The scenario in which it seemed God was not in control at all, but it was when He was literally in the thick of it all.  Easter is all about God sending His son to save us all.  If I were alive in that time, I would be one nervous, wreck.  The world seemed to be in such a state of disarray and yet in the middle of it all there was the calm of Christ.  When everything was going wrong Christ was the right.  He still is.  He is in the midst of everything that happens.  He is in control, even when us control freaks try and take back control He is there. 

This last week I did a lot of travelling, I did a lot of work, I did a lot of planning, prepping and sighing.  There was a perception of control, but ultimately my sanity was in God’s hands.  My peace was because I put my hope in the one who created me.  I have no control right now with my daughter’s procedure.  We prayed before we went into the building, and I am praying while I wait.  The is all I can do and that is the best I can do.  Prayer in not my afterthought, it is my constant conversation with Christ.  There is control in that, because there is a relationship of trust.  That I can handle and thank God for that!  Until next time:

Your worst enemy isn’t a person, situation, or thing.  It’s the story in your mind based on assumptions and projected fears or insecurities.

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