I sit here and I wait. I am waiting for the sun to rise, and I wait for the caffeine to kick in. I know that I will go back to reality soon, the job, my family, my dogs and my cat. I came to where I am so that I could wait. In the process of this waiting I have found that even in waiting we all do it so differently.
My parent’s house is not on the large size, but the sounds that come with it are. The sounds range from a door closing to family members talking in the kitchen. If you thought you would sleep in, that will not happen in this house. Dogs happen in this house too. I think they are some of my favorite ways to pass the time when waiting. They have no idea why their house went from calm and quiet to having three extra people as well as a puppy descend on them, and they do not care (except for when poor Thor has to contend with the puppy, by playing just as hard). Dogs make it so easy to forget for a moment that things are going on around you. I dare you to not smile when they are all playing and running and fighting over a stuffed monkey.
In the mist of waiting, processing happens. We went out to dinner one night with family, and while the food was great the company was better. It was hilarious, and eye opening. The overall theme was that we need to have fun together, we need to be there for each other and most importantly we need to see the importance of not holding onto what has happened in the past, but own it and move forward from it. Waiting, especially when away from home makes you realize how much you miss home. I love my bed, that is what I miss. I miss my kids, my hubby , my dogs and of course the cat. I know that life is going on without me right now and that really makes me humble, knowing that in the big scheme of things, life will go on. Maybe this trip will help me to see that my “britches could have gotten too big for me”. Sometimes that is needed too.
As I sit and write and ponder, I am listening again to my family figure out the current “problem” that needs to be fixed. I know who will be the fixer, who will be the worrier, who will be the one who is receiving the solution, and who will be the ones that will help move the process along. It’s really a relief and a joy that we come together and things happen. All along my parent’s dog Thor lays on the floor silently judging me for not sitting on the floor playing with him. Oddly enough there is joy in that too. So what does all this pondering, and processing bring me to?
I miss my family, that is true, but I also got to be with my extended family as we celebrate a life that was truly joyful. If I could think of an example of joy to emulate it would be what my family has. We pull together when we need to, we fight for each other and we are loyal. We accept the differences we have and support the quirks in between. We navigate the trials of life as well as the playfulness of the dogs. We willingly stuff ourselves into a home meant for two so that we can enjoy the company of many. Waiting is what brought us together. We didn’t have to wait long, God wanted His angel sooner than we wanted to give her up, but in her departure she brought us all together. I will work on expanding my joy more, with the help of a legacy of joy to look up to. Life is short, and it has a tendency to not be easy, but joy and a baseline of humbleness can help in navigating through it. Until next time:
When you see me in your dreams, I’m really there. When you see me in the distance, that’s me. When you sense and feel me around the house, I’m there. I have not left you, I will always be by your side and in your heart.Unknown
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Rae’s New Shine Book
One day Rae woke up and felt different. When she looked at the people around her they seemed to “shine brighter” than she did. When she finally prayed about it and asked her mom for help, she realized she didn’t know her own worth. She didn’t believe in herself and felt dim compared to others. Once she started to see she was talented and worthy her shine came back. $12.00