In the blink of an eye the trajectory of where you life is going can be misaligned. If you have kids you know exactly what I mean. There is nothing calm or collected when it comes to life. On the surface it can look calm but usually there is something that causes life to not be collected.
At work currently we are in the process of training up some newer people. They are asked to do certain tasks that when being watched can be stressful at best. When said tasks are not done in the manner in which they should be done and have to be repeated it’s hard on the trainee as well as the trainer. Most of the time people are harder on themselves than another person can be. What the trainee may not see is that the trainer is just as hard on themselves. We tear ourselves down so much for making a mistake or not being “perfect” in something we have done for years. We look at the negative first and then wonder why we can’t find the positive that is all around. It’s when the training moments start to get stressful that the person getting trained is given a “time out”. Instead of a nose in the corner, it’s a gentle voice that says “breathe, you will get this”. It’s getting out of the zone of trainer and realizing they are new at the skill and it will take time for them to be comfortable. They have to know they can trust you to be vulnerable enough to say “I don’t get it, or why am I not doing this the way is should be done?”
I have a teen who is learning to drive. She started out slow in the process due to the anxieties she had. We worked at overcoming those fears by starting slow and worked up to where she is now. She has a pattern that has been noticed in which she is most nervous when she is doing her first drive of the day. She knows it and we know it, so we don’t spring new stuff on her until she has done her first drive. A few days ago I had errands to run and places to go, so I thought why not get chauffeured around? Granted it was probably more like “Driving Miss. Daisy” in my daughter’s eyes but that didn’t matter to me, I was enjoying the ride. Part of the errands meant we had to go on a bypass that got up to higher speeds than what my daughter had done before. I could tell she was a bit nervous, but knew we had done the initial drive first so she was more comfortable behind the wheel. This also meant going into a gear she hadn’t used before (my hubby and I think it’s important to teach in a manual transmission), she wanted to practice getting into the gear while not moving so that when she needed to while moving she was comfortable. Needless to say she did great. We made it to all our destinations without issue, but boy did we both need a “time out” when we got back to the house. We didn’t feel stressed while in the car but we were both a little worn once we got back home.
A friend once reminded me that it’s up to be to take the time I need to find rest. People will tell us that we need to take a break, go somewhere away from people, have “me time”. They can even mandate that time is taken off (hopefully paid). It’s up to us to actually take the time and do what we need to get grounded (no pun intended). Kids everywhere know what “time out” means. When I was a kid my nose was put in a corner, usually until I remembered what it was I lost, or I came to my senses and apologized for what I did. As an adult, a “time out” means something completely different. It means finding a place in which you can process an event that has happened. It means going to do an activity that you have been wanting to do. It means putting the phone in an area that is away from you so that you can have a bit of freedom. It means getting away from the stressors of life for just a moment so that you can reconnect with the person you are. The difference of a time out as a kid verses a time out as an adult is choice. Kids don’t normally get the choice of a time out, whereas an adult can make the choice and follow it through. So as I sit here and write, I am out on my back deck. I have already spent time earlier this morning on a walk, watering the plants and doing my devotion. My hubby and son have come out a few times to see what I am up to, I am kind in this but I tell them I will be in shortly, my “time out” isn’t done yet. Until next time:
Almost anything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…..including you!Ann Lamont