The Waiting

It seems so easy sometimes to just let things wait, but when you are forced into waiting things get a bit more difficult. This last week I was forced into a state of waiting. I had to once again go and get the test done for COVID since I was near someone that was positive. This meant that I had to wait. I had to wait for the test, the results and then wait to hear if anyone else was positive. It isn’t hard to wait, but when you don’t know the end results the stress has a habit of filling up some of that time. The wait doesn’t mean that I am idle though, phone calls needed to be made and appointments changed. I talked with a friend of mine who had to quarantine, because she was positive, which is a type of wait I wouldn’t want to do.

Waiting has so many good qualities too. Waiting to see when a friend can visit, waiting for the paint to dry anticipating the next stroke, even when waiting for the cookies to be done baking helps get you ready for the first bite. The problem with waiting is when you are told to wait. Think of it like this:

You plan a fun weekend trip for your family. You have planned for it, you know it is right around the corner but there are a few obstacles you have to get through before you can go. The first one is telling your kids for the the umpteenth time that they have to be patient, that the weekend will only get here so fast. Your nerves are on edge because they won’t leave you alone about it, but you have to keep telling them to wait. You have to do it in the right way though, they are just as excited as you are but they are just not comprehending that it will take the week to get through and the weekend won’t get here any quicker with the amount of questions they have. They just have to wait.

This week I had to wait, the week long plans and schedules all had to be put on hold. The uncertainty was stressful. I had to choose to enjoy the wait, work through the wait or complain about the wait. Admittedly I started out with complaining. I don’t like change much and I had to change my whole week, plus there were people that were relying on me to be there for them and I couldn’t, that didn’t sit well. Have you ever noticed the phenomenon of everything blowing up right at the time when you can do nothing about it? It felt like this week was the week of mishaps for a lot of animals, we had a skeleton crew at our hospital and the doctor really could only do so much. Mix this with people who are frantic about their pets and it can be somewhat of a nightmare. Added to the wait was an injured friend and two people I work with being sick. Not so fun. I chose to work through the wait and enjoy the extra moments I had with my family and pets (though I didn’t get too close to them). Working from home can be a little difficult when you are in a service based business. I mean I can’t cut a dog’s nails through the computer.

Have you ever had those moments where you are so excited to tell someone your happy news but you had to leave a message or you text them and they don’t respond right away. Ugh! The wait. What’s great about this type of waiting is you know when they finally listen or text back there will be excitement in their voices and they will want to celebrate with you. I remember when I passed my Hospice and Palliative Care Certification program I didn’t realize that I was theoretically holding my breath waiting for the test results to come in. When I got them I let out the sigh and started calling the people that had been supporting me. I got through my list and the last person I called I had to leave a message. I didn’t hear back from this person for a few days (they were out camping), but when they called it was so awesome to relive the excitement. It was so worth the wait.

We always seem to want things now, now, now, and if it’s not there when we want it we get upset. We have gotten to the point where we feel entitled to have what we want when we want it. This mentality can take away the joy of the wait. Would you want an artist to go quicker than normal to give you a painting you ordered? No you would want it done well, knowing the final outcome will be worth the wait. We are not supposed to go at this neck breaking speed all the time. We are called to rest. To wait, to find joy in the silence and the beauty around us. If we are so busy rushing and speeding by we miss the magic around us. As I was doing my devotion this morning, I was trying to find the joy in the silence after ending my prayer for the day. I tried to clear my head and focus on the silence and take it all in. Let me tell you I didn’t quite find the joy in the waiting for peace. I got fidgety and started to let my mind wander to what needed to be done for the day. I missed the wait. I missed time spent in blessed peace (the house was empty except the pets). This week I could have done done the road of really just enjoying the waiting process. I could have started a project, got creative, read a book all day. I wish I could say I accomplished the waiting process, but I admit waiting is not my strong point. I am a work in progress, but when I really sit down to think about it the wait is worth it. Until next time:

Take time to breathe, in through the nose, out the mouth. Feel the healing affects of each breath. Slow down, relax and enjoy the moments you have with yourself and the Lord.