A girls day out meant a guys day in for the hubby and Tyler.
When the kids were younger we would do special outings with them where either Tim would take the girls out to lunch and then the park and I would take Tyler to lunch and then somewhere fun. We would mix it up and try and do one on one time with the kids too. Each time I would come back feeling like I knew my kids just a little bit better, which made it so that when normal life happens I have a fighting chance on figuring them out then too. Our relationships seem a bit better too, the girls talk to me more about their lives and I know when Tyler decides to care about more that is happening in his life (he is only 10) that he’ll feel comfortable talking with Tim and I.
So this Saturday was the girls trip to go shopping and have lunch. Out of the three of us girls Tabby is the only one that really enjoys shopping though. I don’t mind it, I have fun but I am not one that typically stays out all day to shop. Leah my middle girl likes it even less. She has one style, short hair, sweats and whatever shirt she finds that is clean. Our trip had the purpose of shopping but I learned so much more from my girls by being with them all day. Some was eye opening, like the fact that they are not longer my little girls anymore, but instead they are my teen girls who like to cuss occasionally, they analysis most people and situations but mainly their targets are their little brother and dad. They are different but so very much the same, they want to be heard, they want justice served, and they want to be able to do what they want to do even if it means pushing the limits a bit.
Tim and Tyler had other plans for their boys day in. Since it had nothing to do with shopping it would have everything to do with food, movies, video games and food. The boys stayed home but grabbed Little Cesar’s pizza for a brunch will the Aliens did their part on the screen. Shopping had a play in part of their day, so with that came, candy and sodas to keep them going just long enough to hit the local gaming center. I got a text from the hubby while we were at lunch that let me know that he was a tad sick from the virtual reality game he and Tyler had played. I felt a bit nauseous after he described what the game was: flying and falling and shooting all sorts of objects that just happened to be moving around too. No thanks! The girls and I came home to an empty pizza box and a large bag of opened skittles on the kitchen counter. Tyler and Tim were able to bond over the activities they did. They didn’t worry about us girls analyzing them, and bossing them around. They were just two guys hanging out. Perfect.
Life makes these outings and moments hard to do as often as I would like to do them. When the kids were younger we would feed them, and then we would play with them at the park. Now it’s feed them, talk about life issues, shop, play video games, eat some more and try hard to connect with them without having them close up shop because a touchy subject was brought up. I love learning more about my kids. I am scared to learn about my kids. It is a hard fact that the world has a big influence on what my kids think. I have known this for a long time. I was their age once and I remember going through some of the same things they go through but with less electronics. There are days when putting my kids in a bubble and not allowing the world around them near is something I would love to do. Then I look at my kids, hang out with them, and get to know them that much more and I realize God made them for a reason. They have a purpose. They were brought up to trust in the Lord, and to do their best to be kind and compassionate human beings. They are not smaller versions of Tim and I. To be honest they push the limits with us and have their own paths that they are taking which makes this momma’s heart nervous, but I know they have good foundations. I can’t wait to see where they go, but for now I will enjoy the lunch dates with shopping afterwards. I will enjoy the car talks about boyfriends and dragons. I will enjoy the secretive side glances the girls give each other. I will listen to the way Tyler describes his day with dad and watch how Tyler teaches his dad how to play a certain game.
I can choose to be scared for my kids day in and day out because the world is scary, or I can watch, learn and grow with them while I hit my knees daily to pray for them. I admit some of their interests are far from what I would consider “my tastes” but that is who they are right now, all I can do is take an interest as well and be in the moment with them. I will pray often for them, while enjoy who they are becoming. Until next time:
Instead of bracing yourself for the perils of the unknown, embrace the joy that is here, in your present moment.Michelle Cruz Rosado