How Do They do It?

They always seem so content

My bestie and I have known each other for years. We practically share the same birthday, I love her like a sister and I know it’s because we are different but we accept each other and love each other besides our differences. Last night we were able to get together to celebrate another year spent on this earth. This past year has had lots of challenges as well as accomplishments. So many different losses, but at the same time there have been times of joy that help to cover some of the pain of those losses. So as we, waited for my wonderful hubby to light the combined amount of candles on a cake just barely big enough to hold the candles, we laughed, talked and finished eating one of our favorite dinners.

One of the best things I noticed about last night was the excitement my girls had in showing Aunt Sunni their rooms, and then talking to her about what they are most interested in. As the night progressed we shared our gifts for each other and some tears about family and life in general. One thing that I notice every time I am around Sunni is the fact that whatever seems to be going on in her life, good or bad, she is present, she is still content. There is a quote I came across the other day that says:

The most convincing sign that someone is truly living their best life, is their lack of desire to show the world that they’re living their best life. Your best life won’t seek validation

Steven Bartlett

I had a discussion a few days ago with my eldest daughter about this idea. We were talking about the fact that the world loves to label things, people whatever. People then take these labels and create a cause about them, or live by the label, or in rare occasions will take the label and just leave it there. When people choose to leave the labels where they are at and live the life they want to live, you will find content people. It’s hard to do, but when you choose not to worry about what people think about you or what they say about you, you can get yourself out of your self imposed prison. There are so many labels that can be given to me based on my religion, my race, my profession, my thoughts, really anything. I could be labeled a good technician but a bad mom because I work too much. I could be labeled a weirdo because of my all out love of cheesecake, flamingos and my dog, and I probably am, but I could also let this knowledge hold me back from living my best life.

People want to label themselves as a certain type of person, but will get upset when someone else puts a label on them. When we choose to live our lives to the best of our abilities while also finding the joy in everyday life, we rise above the world. We find contentment in what we are doing, and the draw to have to show it off to the world diminishes. I love that my girl Sunni is a strong, warm and loving momma to her two amazing girls. I love also that she can cry without apologizing, that she can stand firm in her decisions and that when she is with someone, she is present with that someone. She doesn’t have a perfect life and I know she has her struggles but, right now this is her best life. She shows up and is present, in whatever she does

What if we as a people decided that the world doesn’t need to see everything little thing that happens in our lives? What if we said, I am here, I am present without having to take the phone out to document it? Take your pictures, share your adventures, but don’t do it to have someone click the “like” button. I sometimes envy those who have chosen to stay off of social media. They don’t have the draw to post everything they do. At the heart of all this is this: Are you the master of your own universe and need to have people validate you simply because it makes you feel better, more in control? What if instead you just did life, knowing that there is a God who is in control that has already validated your life even before you did the stuff you did? There is joy in that. There is hope in that, there is peace and rest in that. I know that even if I did the biggest screw up ever and it landed on all of my friend’s Facebook pages, that that event doesn’t change who I am in God’s eyes. I have found that the most content people don’t have perfect lives, they have had major struggles, but they also believe in something bigger than themselves. They know when to show love, mercy, grace. They don’t think themselves better than anyone else. There is not a desire to always look and act perfect. That is the best life, and that sounds like the place I want to be. Until next time, I will leave you with a small speech from Robert Duvall in “Second Hand Lions”

Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things that a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good. That honor, courage and virtues mean everything. That power and money, money and power mean nothing; that Good always triumphs over Evil; and I want you to remember this: That Love, true Love never dies. Doesn’t matter if any of this is true or not. You see a man should believe in these things because these are the things worth believing in.

Robert Duvall