Self Doubts and the Love of Change

Am I being too bossy?

I have found in the last few weeks I have been asking the question “am I being too bossy?” I am not talking in the family setting since I don’t tend to see them much during the week, so I leave the “bossy-ness” to the hubby on that one. I mainly start thinking this way when I am at work. I love my job, I love the people I work with, and I have to love change in this field because it happens often, but what also happens often is the unknown. Way back when I was an assistant the technicians that were my trainers and mentors drilled it into my head that we always needed to be prepared for anything that walked through our door. We even went as far as having emergency drills so that each person knew what their job was and how fast they had to get the jobs done. This is what I try and teach the assistants helping in the hospital I am in now. With that being said, I expect people to be always be in forward motion. Think ahead, plan ahead, look around you and see where you can be of most use. This is where change comes into play, and where I start to sound like my grandma when I was a kid. Young adults these days don’t see the value of hard work, and I dont’ really get it. Taking pride in a hard days work is a good thing.

It is hard for me (being a self driven person) to not expect others to be that way. So when real life doesn’t happen that way I have to adapt and learn that not everyone is like me. There are those out there who do not mind taking their time. Change # 1 for me. I sometimes have a hard time when someone tells me their way of doing something and they feel I should do it that way too, even if the way I am doing the same task gets the job done. This is a hard one, this is the kind of change I don’t do well with. I know it is a stubborn streak in me but it also sets a fire under me. Now this happens at home and at work. My hubby loves to do the “next times” and the “this is how I would have done it’s”, and then I find that I am saying those same things at work. Maybe that’s why I dislike it so much because I find that I am doing it myself to other people. He means well, just as I do, and I know it is just constructive critism, but to have it sound as if the way something was done is wrong, when it actually is just a different way of doing it, gets me fired up. Is there a change for that?

So when it comes to change and self doubts how do we cope with these topics? I mean I can’t keep going around work asking people if they thought I was too bossy? I really don’t have the ability to change people’s work ethics either. Yes I can tell them what is expected of them, I can encourage them, and guide them, but at the end of the day, it’s up to them to push themselves.

Change is hard, we have to deal with it daily. Self doubt is hard, but we can chose if we want to deal with it daily instead of changing our thought processes. Teenagers have this innate ability to bring out the self doubts of parents everywhere. One day they are chatting and engaging and the next you can barely get a word out of them. Most days keep them alive is an adventure, did they eat? Did they sleep? Really? What is that thing you are wearing? It’s like they are two year olds on steroids’. One of my girls says she hardly ever sleeps, but doesn’t really look like a walking zombie to me. My son has so much energy and when I wander into his room to figure out why I see the stashes of snacks and candy wrappers. Oh! and tell me why there is this need to always be on electronics? All of this is change too. I could say that when I was a child I wasn’t this way, but my momma would probably say otherwise.

Prayer, patience, and a lot of exercise seems the way to get through these “unstable” times. Changing the doubting thoughts into positive thoughts is also mandatory. I find when I am at my breaking point, I call up by bestie and have lunch. We talk shop, encourage each other as mommas, have some laughs and cheesecake and then go on with our days. Just as I wish work ethics were more important, I also wish that doubts didn’t have to play such a large role in my life. What I lean on is what’s important, God, my faith, lots of prayers, family and friends, and my knowledge that no, I am not being too bossy, I am just pushing people to the potential I see in them. Until next time:

The secret to change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

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