Stomping My Foot

Why can’t things just stay the same?

Back when the kids were younger and we were younger as parents it seemed so hard, and then the kids grew to be teenagers, and that’s when we realized how easy we had it when they were kids. I am all in for a good cry and that was something that I had yesterday morning. It was one of those crys that made you tired afterwards but it released so much built up stress and worries that it was refreshing to have. I really do have a good life with not much to complain about, but there are times when it seems that everything is thrown at me all at once. I deal with it and I deal with it until it is bottled up enough the tears just start to flow. My hubby is sweet enough to realize that I need the cry (and smart enough to let me have it), because he knows that afterwards I can get back to the “regularly scheduled program”.

So what was the big deal this time? Change. Plain and simple. I don’t do change that well, especially when it means that I don’t get to have some semblance of control. Things in my family have changed, not for the bad but different from what I would consider normal and so I must comply and pray that as I loose part of the control I had that God always had the control and still has total control. My work atmosphere changed, I went from working at two hospitals (one with multiple doctors, other with just one) and reducing my hours so that family time could increase. Charlie our newest addition to the family was a fun and somewhat different change in the sense that she isn’t your normal puppy. She is crate trained already (at least at night) but doesn’t understand fully that we are not here to harm her but to help her. Must be hard to be a dog but have to learn how to be one, thank you Jorj for teaching her “the way”. As my family knows, I absolutely hate to be cold (yes I know I live in a state that has cold winters), so when the weather changes to below 70 degrees I tend to voice my opinion a little bit more. You see all of these changes are not bad, and for the most part have enriched my life.

Stomping my foot may feel good in the moment but does it really help? Maybe if with each stomp I learned how to deal with the different changes, but I haven’t gotten that info yet and I have been stomping my foot for a while now. I think change makes you realize that you don’t have as much control as you thought you did. Families change all of the time, maybe not in people coming and going but in the maturing of the minds and the “fingering out who they are moments”. Oh to have my kids stay in the state of mind where they don’t have opinions and they just go with what I tell them to do. Wait, no that would be terrible, I love talking to my kids about their thoughts and beliefs, especially in the world that is going on around them. I just wish that they didn’t have such “worldly views” at times. My momma heart has a hard time with that. Stomping my foot won’t change that they are growing up, it just makes my foot hurt.

Changing jobs was something that needed to be done. Stomping my foot wasn’t fixing problems and neither was I. Reducing my hours and working for just one hospital was a good choice for both hospitals as well as myself. I learned that with me being gone at the multiple doctor hospital others that hadn’t been doing their jobs to the best of their abilities had to step up and do them. I may have been a crutch, and so by me leaving I can hope that they will learn and grow and reach their full potential. It’s so hard when you know what someone is capable of but they refuse to embrace their training and knowledge. Maybe now this will happen. At my full time job (the single doctor practice) I may stomp my foot for some of the same reasons but the potential for people to grow and learn is so much greater. My reduced hours meant more to me than anything though, and since much of what I do is mobile I can have my kids (one at a time ) come with me. Something I haven’t been able to do at a job before. No stomping feet here.

People are forced into change all of the time. How they deal with it reveals the kind of person they are. Complaining, comparing and accusing the person or situation of causing you ill because of the change only leads you down the path of being bitter. Embracing the change and knowing that you must move forward will bring hard times probably but also growth. Ask the cancer patient who fought and won. Ask the single parent who supported his family and thrived. As the new business owner who buckled down, worked hard and succeeded. The change was not easy, but they chose to press on, move forward and stomp their feet in the direction they needed to go. Until next time:

Runners exalt the marathon as a public test of private will, when months or years of solitary training, early mornings, lost weekends, rain and pain mature into triumph or surrender. That’s one reason the race-day crowds matter, the friends who come to cheer and stomp and flap their signs and push the runners on.

Nancy Gibbs